I can feel him pressed against me/ smell his hair/ taste the kiss/ feel his fingers fumbling awkwardly between my legs. All the excitement and confusion has been sealed away in that one song. Like a Time Capsule. Ive been thinking about Byron a lot recently. The first man I ever fucked. Probably the only man I ever really loved. Dont know if Ill ever get over him to be honest. Occasionally if I smell or see or hear something that reminds me of him the pain explodes through me/ burning into every cell in my AH SHIT. Im even crying now. Big splashes of salty water dripping onto my hand as I type. Hang on a second. ~~~~~ Last Saturday I took a stroll down to Cockburn Street. I didnt have any money or anything but I needed to get out the flat. It was doing my head in. So I was just wandering about – having a wee window-shop to myself (fantasising about what Id buy if I had the cash) – and I was heading down past this place where they sell loads of leather gear and jewellery and stuff. Her hand went to his chest.“No, Billy,” she said, her face close to his. “I told you. I love you. I’ll always love you. I wasn’t mad. I’m not mad now. I did that for you. I did it because you deserve some happiness. I’ll always want to make you happy.”His eyes took on a wet look.“Does that mean you might ... do that again someday?” he asked. There was a note of longing in his voice that made her want to giggle.“I’ll do it whenever you want me to,” she said.“You’re kidding!” he gasped.“No,” she said.“Wow.”“Do you want me to do it again tonight?” she asked.She told him to go get ready, and that she would do the same. She didn’t have any experience at being seductive, and didn’t know how to go about that, so she just stripped naked and put on her robe again. That had seemed to be okay the night before.When she got to his room, his readiness was evident. He was lying on top of his bed, naked, and his penis was standing up, though leaning to one side a little. He wasn’t touching it this.
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